Women & Their “Rules”?
Men kill me. This weekend, my best friend and I were visiting some friends in New York City and we, as usual, got into a heated debate with a male friend who claimed that women make up their own “rules” about relationships and dating and don’t play fair with men, who are immediately held to a certain standard predetermined by women and these aforementioned “rules”.
This discussion all started when my friend and I stated how it’s an immediate turn-off when a man we are trying to date hits us up after 11pm to “come over and chill” or “watch a movie” because that usually means he’s tryna fuck… and only tryna fuck. Our male friend immediately denied that and said men are doomed from the get-go because if he hits a woman up late, she immediately writes him off as just wanting sex. He claimed that this is one of the “rules” women made up that isn’t fair to men. Of course, blame the women. However, if you really think about it, what business would I, as a female, have coming to your house at that time of night… and to “watch a movie”? Get the fuck out of here. Clearly this is all just a line used to get me there and once I do, you’re on me like white on rice because you, as a man, assume we are on the same page in our thinking, and that I am here at this hour to mess around…and rightfully so.
The discussion then turned to the fact that a lot of men nonchalantly think this practice is ok. And mind you, we ladies aren’t opposed to talking to someone in the wee hours of the night, but a lot of men will make this a habit, while failing to maintain the proper dating-appropriate communication during regular, daytime hours. Fool, if every time you hit me up it’s off the late night, what am I supposed to think?! That you want to date me? Ummm, negative.
I firmly believe that although women may develop their own dating/relationships “rules”, these rules aren’t just arbitrarily pulled from thin air. The reality is: men’s actions and habits prove these “rules” as facts. By observing men’s behavior over the years, women have been able to draw their own conclusions based on what we have seen. If every man that has ever invited me over late night didn’t try to get in my pants, then in my head I wouldn’t associate a late night call with sex. This isn’t me trying to be ridiculous and doom every man from the jump, it’s men being stupid enough to fall into certain patterns which end up dictating women’s relationship assumptions about them.
Look, it’s definitely a two-sided game. BOTH men AND women develop their own relationship rules and that’s completely normal. Men pass judgment on women and their behavior all the time and, in turn, use what they have witnessed to establish their own relationship rules… just like women do with men. The goal is to not do certain things if you believe there is even the slightest chance they will be perceived differently from what your intentions are. Plain & simple: stop being stupid, be original, and step your game up… if you fall into the norms of all those before you, there isn’t anyone to blame but yourself.
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