Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner…

Posted Jul 6, 2010 by Freshhh in Dating

Well…First and foremost…Happy Birthday, America! My fourth of July weekend was great…Enjoyed a shitload of DELICIOUS food, good times with friends, plenty of sunshine, swimming, and partying all night. I was finally able to have some time off and enjoy myself. This weekend also brought me home a little “surprise” and at first, I was kind of glad to see him…but after he left…I was even more excited to watch him go! I think all of this feeling lonely lately has forced me to begin lowering my standards and considering people who normally wouldn’t have a shot. So what if physically this guy is appealing, he could not hold a conversation to save his life. First “date” was with him and two of his friends and I got to tag along while they went shopping…BOOOORING!!!! These three men went into EVERY store and shopped harder than I ever have in my life. I was not impressed, or having even the slightest bit of fun. We then went to eat….of course not where I had wanted to go…we went to a place his FRIENDS got to chose…ummm, OK…whatever. Well let me just say that after all that, he expected to go home with me for “dessert” and I def. wasn’t feeling it…

So here’s my dilemma…why was he mad that I did not want to take this “relationship” to the next level??? I mean, do guys really think that’s all it takes for a girl to want to sleep with them? I wasn’t even turned on AT all…and the little bit of points he got with his looks IMMEDIATELY faded when he tried to hassle me for, essentially, “being a prude” and “scared” of having sex with him. Goodnight, sir! I don’t think I could have even fucked him if I tried…If you don’t stimulate my mind, there really is NO hope whatsoever of you stimulating me physically. I do not understand men at all. So…basically, you do not want the type of girl who fucks on the first date because that means she’s a hoe (EVEN IF she’s comfortable physically and enjoys sex) BUT you don’t want a girl who WON’T fuck on the first date because she’s not tryna give it up when you want it? I don’t get it….which way is the right way?? I hate having to feel like sex HAS to be a pre-requisite for you to want to get to know me…if all you want is something physical, then fine. But if you are HONESTLY looking for a relationship (or tell me that you are), or at least a little bit more than a fuck buddy, why is it such a big deal?!

I think this topic hits hard for me because I AM a female that enjoys sex and, if I want, can have it with people without being emotionally attached. However, at this point, I am pretty much over that. Not saying I have to be in a relationship or be in love with someone, but there has to be some mental connection there in order for me to enjoy myself physically. Which brings me back to my *challenge*…. I was thinking about him this weekend and why I’m kind of still so interested even when I don’t get to see him. I realized that when we speak, we actually speak about things that make me think. He challenges me and my way of thinking, and even if he does not agree with it, he accepts it (or at least tries to) and shares his opinion. I think my desire for his mind translates into my desire for him physically (even though he’s FIIIIINE as hell as is)…. I wish it happened like that more often, but it doesn’t. Oh well…until then, I shall continue to chase the un-catchable while simultaneously struggling to fight off the decepticons that think they know how to play the game. Sorry, boys….Jazzy always wins.

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