We All Just Want The Same Thing…

Posted Jun 21, 2010 by Freshhh in Dating
At this stage of the game, I feel like a lot of things have to change.  Dating (and I mean TRUE courtship) is virtually extinct.  I find that even if a man is nice enough to take me to dinner, he has intentions of shit popping off afterwards.  Now, clearly I’m no prude and I’m all for the physicality of a relationship (I feel its one of the top three things that need to be present for a relationship to work) but how do I tell if he is really interested…in ME?  Granted there is a physical attraction and OF COURSE I want any man I am dating to be attracted to me, but there are times when the mental aspects should take control over whether or not he sees me and his dick gets hard.

So now the issue that arises is when does that transition from wanting strictly the physical to wanting something more serious occur?? I feel like maybe some men do not take me seriously because I do not project the characteristics of wanting a relationship…. But what are these characteristics? That’s what I am trying to figure out. I feel like many times I am told to “put my guns down”, but the second I do that, men know they are not ready to take a relationship to the next level and then I end up wasting my efforts.  I’m over that.

I guess it proves that nice girls finish last too.  Guys get a cool, down to earth girl, who’s physically on the same page as them yet still want to be high and mighty and not take her seriously just so they can fuck everything that walks, or at least have the freedom to do so if they choose.  These are the same guys that then complain that “good guys finish last”….the difference with this is that when a female doesn’t like a guy that likes her, she acknowledges that he may be a good guy and a sweetheart, but he just may not be the one for her, at the moment. With men, they just ignore and dog the female instead of letting her know there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with her, just nothing that sparks in between them. Communication differences are what we have going on in this case…I don’t think these guys realize that its ok to not hit it off with every female, but instead of stringing her along  because she gives them attention that they cannot get anywhere else, they need to just tell the truth and be the adult in the situation. Now of course, there are some men (and females) that are truly only looking for a physical fling here and there, and although there is not anything wrong with this (I am guilty of wanting this sometimes also), these men try and act like they are REALLY looking for something more, but they aren’t.  Why would you have to lie about this? No one is going to judge you for wanting physical relationships until the right person comes along, but people DO judge you when you try and say one thing and act the complete opposite way.  Just keep it 100, we are all adults here.

At the end of the day, we all want someone.  No matter how much you many claim that you are “SINGLE DELUXE” (a term I heard and LOVE—used to describe someone who is single…and happily single and doing them at the moment), we all want someone to go home to…home base, if you will.  We all get lonely now and then and I have to admit, it is nice to have someone you can always call/text, see for dinner after work, and even have next to you at night (sex or not…although consistent sex with the same person is more appealing to most people anyway). So why put the front up? We all need to let our guns down and just calm the fuck down. It’s really so simple….just say what you feel…and mean what you say.

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