Ten Relationship Tips I Recently Learned
Fresh off a break-up, I am fortunate to have at least learned a lot, not only about myself, but also about what things are necessary in order to maintain success in a relationship… even if I had to fail at one before I learned these lessons (-___-). As I reflect on this relationship, I have come up with, what I feel, are some pretty important relationship tips that either helped me along the way or would of helped me had I known then what I know now. Hindsight is 20-20…
In no particular order:
1. Know Your Role: Until this previous relationship I hadn’t truly learned how to calm down my independence and allow my man to be the man… It’s ok to let him take care of some of the things I would usually do for myself as a single woman without having to feel like I was sacrificing my independence or myself. I also learned to relax and ease into the roll of someone’s girlfriend. Doing the little things while letting him handle some of the bigger things was relieving once I got the hang of it. Know your role, play your part.
2. Sacrifice Is Great…But It’s A Two Way Street: Sacrificing is important, whether it’s some of the “single” aspects of your life or just those things you know your partner might not be a fan of; at least make an attempt to rid yourself of those habits. However it takes sacrifice from both parties to prove to one another that you’re committed; your partner should always meet you half way. If you have sacrificed for them but don’t see the same in return, you should definitely see that as a red flag. Reciprocity is key!
3. Stick To Your Goals: There was a reason you attracted your partner in the first place. Keep that drive going and continue to succeed at everything you want to accomplish. Don’t let your track change just because you have added someone to the team. Let them help you help yourself… and make sure they are achieving their goals too! Be supportive #TeamBoo!
4. Adapt To Their Lifestyle The Best You Can: Do your best to accept their schedule and adjust accordingly. It might take some time, but showing that you can adapt will speak volumes about your character.
5. Show Your Feelings: Let them know how you’re feeling, whether it’s about them or about a situation. Be open and honest with your feelings. Don’t ever feel like you can say I love you too many times in one day if that’s indeed how you feel.
6. Make Efforts To Better Yourself, In Terms Of Them: I’ll be the first one to admit that my one big relationship flaw, if you will, is that I do not cook. It’s not that I necessarily can’t, I just never had a reason to; as a single woman I find that I just prepare light meals or go out to eat rather than spend time cooking a whole big meal. With that being said, my ex-boyfriend told me that had to change! As much as I just wanted him to cook (since he was practically chef status), I took the initiative and enrolled in a recipe of the day email list, googled some of his favorites, and learned some tips so I could attempt to cook for my man. Yea he knows it probably won’t be the most gourmet meal he’s ever had, but he appreciated my effort and willingness to learn, even just for his sake.
7. Keep Your Sex Interesting. Of course we all fall into a routine position or favorite time of day… but switch it up!! Variety is the spice of life! A lot of infidelities in relationships occur when things aren’t exciting in the bedroom. Sex isn’t everything, but it sure is a big part of any relationship.
8. Try To Put Yourself In Their Shoes: Take some time and step back and try to assess things from your partner’s point of view. I found that my ex failed to see things from my point of view, despite me seeing things from his. He always thought he knew everything about the situations I was facing and the reality was that he didn’t. I had to dial it down and inform him about the things in my life and how certain processes worked since he wasn’t used to having to deal with them. Hopefully your partner isn’t as stubborn as mine was, and is open to seeing and understanding things your way.
9. Always Keep It A Hundred: If something’s bothering you and even if you think it’s small or will be ill received, say it anyway. Work it out and always speak on how you feel and what’s on your mind. Communication and honesty are what this is built on. If you can’t feel comfortable telling your partner anything, then they aren’t the right one for you. As they say…”those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t’ mind”.
10. Never Lose Yourself: Don’t ever not be who YOU are on account of them. Forcing yourself to be something you’re not will get you nowhere. Continue to stick to your goals and achieve all of the things you set out to achieve before they came into the picture. Use them as your crutch and support mechanism while achieving all that you can. Sky is the limit! You can’t possibly be effective in an “us” situation if you aren’t effective and comfortable in and with yourself. No matter what.