Stuck In Third
So my dating life is kind of at a semi-standstill. I’m over the guy I was talking to, on the verge of beginning something new with a man I put on hold while involved with the ex, and I somehow seem to always have this third guy lingering. No matter who the two leading men are in my life, this one guy is always stuck in the third slot. I am trying to decide what I want to do with him, and its particularly hard because I don’t think he’s worth of the first or second spot, but I am also not convinced that he deserves to be booted from his current position either.
What’s the point of keeping him around if there’s no hope for him? Well, honestly… I don’t know. My efforts to chill with him are minimal, yet if he hits me up and I’m free, I’ll kick it. But for some reason I like him enough to keep him around despite not liking him enough to ever seriously consider a relationship with him. Am I wrong for that? Most of you would probably say I am, and I wouldn’t necessarily argue with you; I kind of feel bad about it too. Knowing his feelings for me, and disregarding them most of the time, I know it frustrates him when I cancel plans or tell him I’m not in the mood to chill (which is usually me being too tired or double booking myself and choosing the other person). For some reason, I enjoy his company when he is around but don’t ever consider him as a potential prospect…he’s kind of that person you keep around so that you have SOMEONE to text, heaven forbid any of your desired boos go MIA or fuck shit up.
Of course, he would read this and be pissed to learn that his role is second understudy to whoever my main squeeze is at the time, but I feel that my non-malicious attitude towards the whole thing should make him feel better about his standing. Everyone has a #3… and I’m sure I am someone I like’s #3…so maybe there is hope for him? Weeeeellll, not with me, at least not right now. I don’t get the full butterflies with him like he would hope, but I would still like to keep him around; I know… I’m selfish, but something about him comforts me, and knowing he’s not out to get the best of me is constantly reassuring.
I’ll eventually let him go… I’ll make up something and let him down easily…when? I don’t know. Probably as soon as something gets serious with 1 or 2; I kind of hope he stands up for himself and tells me to fuck off long before that though. He needs to grow a backbone and stop letting females like me do this shit to him; he deserves better. I just can’t offer myself to him in that way right now and I cannot make any promises for the future either. I think the fact that he is interested but not PERSISTENT when I brush him off is one of the reasons why I end up using him. If you want to see me and I’m not chomping at the bit, you need to come wit your super duper A game (unless I really tell you to fuck off); you need to stop being content in the waiting room watching walk-ins skip ahead of your appointment having ass. It will usually work out though; I’ll eventually be someone else’s 3, so I suppose he and I will reunite one day …while sitting in the waiting room together.