REJECTION: All We Need Are Answers!!
This nigga probably think I’m a psychotic bitch (on my Mama Jones tip). Getting drunk, in my feelings, and talking reckless. I literally started to become THAT girl… you know, the girl he thought was cool until that one day when she mysteriously turned crazy. Yea, that bitch. And being her sure as hell won’t change the situation he and I are in. When all is said and done, I have realized that I’m really only in my feelings because of one thing…. I feel rejected.
Like, believe me when I tell you…I don’t even wanna date this nigga anymore. But between my ego and the fact that I did what every man would want a girl to do and I’m still single, I’m pissed right now. Low key, I just want him to realize he let a good one go, and when he tries to crawl back, give me the opportunity to flip the script JUST so I can play him. And I know that’s not healthy for me to be plotting and it really is a waste of time, but I’m fucking frustrated with all of this. After all, I do want to be cordial, if anything, and I hate to think that deleting his contact in my phone will make any difference, but maybe I just need to do it so I can let it the fuck go. There are better things I should to be focusing on instead of this burning desire to wanna tell him about himself any chance I get.
I, admittingly, give him too much credit; some of this is my own doing. But you have to understand that it’s hard enough to drop your guard down with someone, let alone having to see things flounder after you did all you could to ensure a successful relationship. It feels like a shot at you and at your best “relationship” effort. And when things are left with loose ends like this, I can’t help but feel like I’d be able to just move on and remain level-headed if only I had some answers….