Ok, I’m Over You…But, Ya Boy’s Cute…

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Posted Jul 23, 2010 by Freshhh in Dating
So, I have come to the conclusion that the guy I really like….doesn’t like me. And ya know what? It’s cool. I think I realized that I liked him SOOOO much just because, of all the options I had, he was the best one. Not that the sex wasn’t great and I didn’t have a legit interest in him, but forcing something into existence definitely isn’t the move. I guess I don’t really “date” anymore….in fact, I don’t think I ever did.  Ok, ok…some little dates here and there, but nothing consistent. When I was younger I used to have these dreams of dating different guys (and nooooo, not sleeping with a shitload of men, I mean actual fun little dates) and trying to figure out what characteristics from all of them I like and dislike; its all about knowing what you want and don’t want when you are trying to find someone that fits with you. I kind of wish I was able to do more of that.  I think a lot of men are so concerned with getting in my pants, that the fun date (no obligation afterwards, initially) step is always skipped. I haven’t been “courted” traditionally in a very long time, I miss those days when kissing was enough and relationships were about enjoying someone’s company and not strictly about sex (although it is an important part of any relationship, I feel like its EXPECTED now, and I hate that).

But ANYYYYYWAYYYY… I got invited out on a date (legit, a DATE…dinner, chillin, etc.) by a guy who is very cute and I definitely have an interest in (and I made it clear, I’m not sleeping with him off the bat, and he was cool with that and convinced me he really is trying to get to know me…).  I have to admit, I kind of get butterflies thinking about it…I haven’t been respected or asked out like that in years. The problem is, he is kind of a friend of the guy aforementioned that things didn’t really work with.  I am kind of torn on what to do, and I am taking this first date as a  means to see if there is potential with Boo #2. If there is, I guess I can try and make a decision from there, but I don’t want Boo #1 to think I’m shady; after all, he didn’t want me (or at least never expressed any interest other than physical) so what’s wrong with me trying another route?? Just because I met Boo #2 through him, I don’t think it’s wrong of me to talk to him because its not like me and Boo #1 ever really DATED DATED…we essentially and unfortunately just fucked, despite maybe a little conversation or interest expressed (and everyone plays their role, which is what I do with him, but its not enough anymore).

The other part of this situation is, as much as I don’t want to admit it, I kinda want to hold out and see if something can happen with boo #1. Even though I’d probably be wasting my time, there is just something about him that kind of peaks my interest, and I know if I take a step with Boo #2, then my chances of maybe working things out with his friend (and I use the term “friend” loosely because they are not really FRIENDS, more like acquaintances—no CLOSE relationship; that would def be a no no, I know better than that) are gone for good.  So, is it worth it for me to try this, or no? I kind of feel like if no “movement” has happened with Boo #1 by now, the odds are now cut in half that it ever will. And even though a part of me still wants to wait it out, how long am I supposed to wait to get a reaction out of this man?! Even if he were to express a little interest in getting to know me, I know he is not quite looking for the same things I am right now (which is fine) and things would probably just fizzle out from there. Boo #2 on the other hand is kind of looking for a chick… and not like I want to get married tomorrow (because I DEF don’t), but I’m kind of looking for a main squeeze my damn self (it gets lonely over here, and sometimes its comforting to know you have that one person to kind of lean on, a snuggle buddy, someone to get to know and try and figure out). So the question is…AM I READY TO GIVE UP ON BOO #1? I don’t know… I think if things go well with this date tonight, I will be ready to make the switch, whether it’s to Boo #2 or someone else because I will finally realize that I can do this…

It’s def. a sticky situation, and I am walking on egg shells with this one…I just want to be happy…No matter WHO I THINK I like, I think the person that deserves me is the one that can make me smile and bring little joys to my life.  I don’t think I am complicated at all, only a little complex at times… but half the fun is getting to know me…time will tell, I will continue to wait patiently and continue to focus on building up my own stock… so you better buy now while its low….


About the Author

Freshhh

You wanna talk? I'll tell you all you need to know... as real as it can get.

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