Oh, Vegas…

Posted Jun 14, 2011 by Freshhh in All Articles

Probably one of the most ridiculous party weekends in perhaps one of the best locations to host it, Memorial Day in Las Vegas this year was epic. With no plans a week prior to the holiday and the week after it off from work, I decided that I would treat myself to an extravagant (well, in terms of MY lifestyle) getaway. I knew this was the move when practically everyone I knew, with the exception of my best friend, was going to be out there, and although I was a little apprehensive about going out there alone on such a big weekend, I said fuggit…Its Vegas… what could go wrong? Worst case I end up married or in jail…even though I’m not sure which one of those is worse…

Anyway….I was curious to see how niggas were gonna act out there. Regardless of the current NFL lockout and the potential for the NBA to follow suit, I knew everyone was gonna wil’ the fuck out…and I planned to be right in the mix… with a cup full of liquor and my lungs full of smoke. As soon as I touched down Friday night I was ready to rumble. I was able to get a brief little nap on the plane, and even though it wasn’t enough to re-charge my batteries completely, it was going to have to do. I feel like the next four days were a blur…probably because they were. We spent every day going to pool parties and getting fucked up during the day… and every night in the club with the afterparty at Drais to follow. Running off minimum sleep and maximum vices had me feeling great!

As the weekend progressed, I ran into A LOT of people I know… some I like, some I don’t. A couple I’ve fucked, and plenty that have tried. It was interesting to see the dynamics out in Vegas because even though we may be cool, everyone is out there trying to impress their friends, teammates, and every one else of the opposite sex; people aren’t really who you know them to be back at home in their every day lives…which I guess is part of the allure of Vegas after all. For me, my encounters were interesting… and partly comical (which I think was because of the booze intake)…

Of course, it’s a general rule that if you are ever in the same town as someone you have fucked, it is only right for you to catch up for a second or two, have a drink, some smokes, etc. However, just because you have shared something in the past and are still cool acquaintances now, doesn’t mean a romp session is a given. That’s what happened with this nigga. Now mind you, we have known each other for some time now, and I really do love the shit out of him; he is one of the coolest and most fun men I have had the pleasure to be around, but I hate that he always feels so entitled to sex whenever I see him. I admit, I do flirt and joke with him, but I don’t ever take any of his sexual jokes or advances seriously. I mean, how could I? I see him with other women right in front of me, and I have no problem letting them have him. Sexually, I don’t think we are compatible. Aside from the head being bomb.com, something is just lacking. Anyway, I felt pretty disgusted when he tried to force himself on me in Vegas basically saying “what happens here stays here”. Nigga, please. The past few occasions when I have seen him we haven’t been intimate and I can tell it irritates him; he even tried so much as to tell me “we are homies, it’s expected” which really had me in stitches laughing. Like REALLY? Is THAT how it is?! Goodnight. I tried so hard in Vegas to focus (amidst the buzz I had poppin) enough to try and handle this situation with him, but as always the best way to handle that is to roll my eyes and just ignore the texts. After all, he felt the need to call to my attention the fact that he reads my blog and then proceed to make a jugemental hoe-ish comment about my sex-life,; good fool, then READ THIS.

With that situation out of sight and out of mind, I was able to focus on what I came to Vegas for…to have fun. I, honestly, had no intentions of fucking anyone…past or present. Partially because these fools hype their dick up so much and it’s always a let down, so why bother? I have better things to do…not to mention I got some good good from my local squeeze before my trip.

However, I did meet someone that sparked my interest. Originally I drunkenly took his number in the club my first night in town. I dodged his calls (probably because I was unsure of who he was and what he looked like once I sobered up) for the next three days and on my final day there, I was bored and decided to swing by his hotel room on the way to the pool. Him and his boy greeted me with some strong ass drink and promises of smokes in the very near future…I was in there! We ended up chattin for a couple of hours before deciding to go meet one of their friends at Encore to gamble a bit. After my roulette tutorial, countless drinks, and thousands in chips floating all over the table, my lil boo let me know he was tryna eat it. Of course I laughed him off….that was until I thought about it for a second….and before I could finish the thought, his boy had something to say!

Gentlemen, let me say something: It’s ok to be up-front and vocal about what you want, but never should your boy throw in his two sense. This fool was so bold as to hit me with the “well why wouldn’t you?”. Ok. Really? Do you want my honest answer to that question? Im pretty sure you don’t, as is because I could come up with PLENTY of reasons why fucking your friend that I met three days ago would be a mistake, not to mention ridiculously unsatisfying for me. He then said “well yall have talked all weekend, let him have some”. Ok. If him texting me to come see him at all hours of the day and night and me not responding constitutes as us “talking all weekend”. It’s humorous to me because I was actually thinking about seeing what his boy had to offer… until he opened his mouth and tried to sice it. That definitely didn’t help homie’s cause…luckily for him, he had plenty to offer and didn’t need help from his boy…who was obviously trying to live vicariously through him. Bitch, boo, bye.

I wish those two brief stories were the only rachetness I witnessed while on this trip, but they weren’t. I guess niggas will be niggas in any city, vacation or not. However, some valuable lessons learned on this trip include:

• Don’t drink and tweet

• Avoid coming into contact with your previous sexual mistakes

• Palmers Moisturizing oil is the best for tanning

• Sug Knight is one cool mutha fucka

• Its ok to “just let him eat it”

• Always keep a bottle of Ciroc in your backpack

• Don’t try and wear heels to the pool party, club, AND club after party

• Try to avoid being the last person to board a Southwest flight -__-

• Commit to a location cuz the cab rides will kill your cash flow

• If playing Roulette, put your chips on 3, 23, 32, 36, 00 and red

• Don’t try to fit 18 people into a limo

• Always bring your own trees

• Make friends with the 5 girls ya boys brought with them…they are more fun than you think

• Tequila and Vodka make a great mix when they are in slushy form

• Don’t take candid pictures in a football player’s bungalow, he will kick you out…and I will laugh when he does

Well, kids. Vegas was fun. Of course I left some shit out… can’t tell it all. But there were some good lessons learned and a fun time had by all. I’ll be back out there for my birthday…. They won’t know what to do with me. Til then, catch ya on the flippaaaaa!

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