Nothin’ Like An Arnold Palmer…

Posted Jun 16, 2010 by Freshhh in Dating

This past weekend was filled with a lot of relationship talk. In particular, I was asked about my relationship history and what kind of guys I preferred to date. Hmmmm…what IS my type exactly?! GOOOOOOD question. I have lusted after, dated, slept with, crushed on men of all races, ages, sizes, backgrounds, financial levels, career paths, etc. Which one was the best, you ask? Well, they all had qualities that I liked (primarily my big 3: humor, conversation, ambition). I don’t think I am attracted to just one kind of guy, although my track history may seem a little bit different. The person I was talking to was soooo surprised that I have only had real relationships (relationship here being defined as actual boyfriend/girlfriend titles) with white and Puerto Rican men. I began telling him how I don’t think race is really that big of a deal for me; being mixed (with parents that always date the opposite race of what they are) has always kept me open to everything. I did add that I think the biggest thing for me is really AGE….

Why is age such a big factor? Well, think about it…As a female, I have had the pleasure of maturing fast for my age, and it is a PROVEN FACT that men do not mature as fast as females do. Therefore, if I am 22 going on 28, most of these guys are 22 going on 23. HA. That difference in maturity may not seem like a lot but in fact it really is. Any female that has tried dating an older man will find that they won’t ever go back to being with someone their own age. Everything is taken to another level; conversation, experiences, events, sex, standard of living are all better when you are with someone who has been there, done that.

After expressing this point of view, my friend (a young black man) began telling me that he likes older women as well, but older white women.  I asked why there was the white woman preference and he said basically that there is just less drama.  All the stigmas of black women aren’t just people talking shit, it’s actually real.  Where do stigmas and stereotypes come from? They come from ACTUAL people, events, and examples.  He then started telling me that I earned a lot of points because I was half white. Of course, there are the physical benefits (good complexion, good hair, etc.), but he explained to me that he felt white women were more open. He feels conversation with them is easier and they are more real than black women; the more real a relationship, the less drama that occurs. Of course, he was also in the same boat as me in regards to the age factor, and that just reaffirmed my stance from the beginning.

I did appreciate the “brownie points” for my mother’s genetics, but I also do not like that being something that is a factor for black men to date me. Being mixed is a blessing.  I am appealing to everyone because there is some part of me that they feel comfortable with, whether it’s the white, black, or Native American. But we really need to see passed all of that at the end of the day and judge people on shit that really matters. *shrug* Oh well, at this point, Ill take extra points for anything….and besides, who doesn’t enjoy a half n half from time to time? ; )

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