No Second Chances Ova Here, Boo Boo!
I thought I had my former boo situation all figured out until I had dinner with my girl last Friday night and she kept it realer than real with me. Up until Friday, I had decided that I would be moving on and if boo came back along at a better point in time, I would consider giving round 2 a go. Well, my girl Lindsey had something to say about that… Why the hell does he deserve a second chance?
You know what’s funny? I was trying to make excuses as to why I MIGHT give our relationship a second go ‘round in the future, claiming the timing was bad now, that he didn’t mean to be malicious, etc. She pretty much smacked me for attempting to make excuses for him and our situation. Of course, I explained that if he and I were ever to get involved again, shit would definitely have to be different; we would have to have a long talk, map out exactly what we both wanted, and set some ground rules before I would even consider giving him another chance (after all, I was never the one with the problem in the first place). But Lindsey thought even that was too nice of me. She swore up and down that if he tried to start things back up, I would jump right back on the horse without thinking and immediately forget all the things that got me pushed off the horse in the first place.
As much as I hated to admit it at the time, she was right. I really wouldn’t have made it hard for him to win me back over… but why is that? Why was she right? I don’t have a fucking clue. But after this conversation I felt like there really was no way we could give it another chance; homie really did hurt me. As Lindsey pointed out, if he was inattentive and failed to treat me how I wanted to be treated while we were together the last time, not only does he not deserve another chance, but the odds of him successfully being an improved man the second go ‘round were slim to none.
I realized my feelings and infrequent hopeless romantic tendencies had me thinking unlike my normal self (ugh, hate that). I would NEVER allow a friend of mine to go back to a man that wasn’t ALL about her from the jump, so why was I settling for that myself? Is he THAT perfect? Honestly, no. And if he was, he wouldn’t have done all of this to begin with. Once someone, male or female, does you wrong or fucks shit up, that automatically increases the odds that it will happen again; BREAK THE CYCLE. I deserve the world, and if he cannot provide that, at least some respect and affection on a regular basis shouldn’t be too hard, right? I really wasn’t asking him to do much, and if those things were too much to handle, than we need not be together. I guess it’s good that Linds & I had this conversation when we did…I have already begun to move on to someone else, and now that I can fully let go of this other man, I will be able to give myself fully to the new man who has come correct from the moment I met him. I’m moving on, and that shit feels so got damn good!
Don’t block your blessings.