No Closure, No Cordiality.
No matter what the reason was for breaking up, I find that I have always tried to remain in good standing with all of my exes. Even when relationships have ended on uber shitty terms, it is always good practice to take some time, clear your mind, and remain cordial while you keep it moving on to the next! Now, if only I could take my own advice… I promise I try to. But last night was one of those nights. Good thing we were like 4 patron shots in when I noticed THIS fool couch surfing like a cool kid down at Josephine’s. -__- Ugh, what’s heeee doing here?! I hate having to see an ex in public, especially when (going against my own advice) I just can’t stand to be cordial to them. And let me explain why….
Normally I would see an ex, greet them in a friendly manner, and proceed to chop it up for a second before going on about my business. However, in this particular instance I found the utmost trouble in doing so because the relationship itself never had any closure. Am I over him? Surely. But the fact that I don’t have any answers leaves me reluctant to want to continue having a friendship with someone who hurt me months back and has yet to reach out, explain himself, and tie up these loose ends. In my mind, he doesn’t deserve my friendship at this point, and the ball is in his court to resolve this tension.
The good news is that all this “anger”, if you will, towards him doesn’t stem from me being hurt, but more from me putting my foot down and demanding some fucking respect. Don’t be tryna grab my wrist and “wassup” me in the club like we cool…because we’re not…at least not at this moment in time we aren’t. No hard feelings homie, but it don’t come that easy, and I should start calling you Lucy because you have a LOT of esplaning to doooo *Ricky Ricardo voice*.
With that being said… I really encourage all of you to do your best to end all of your relationships on good terms. You have to remember that ITS OK FOR THINGS NOT TO WORK OUT, and you have to be smart enough to recognize that, take the L, and keep it moving. Closure is a good thing. If everyone is on the same page, the problems are halved from the start, and you can go on about your life without having to worry about dodging your ex in public. The goal is to use that closure as means to remove your feelings (that intense, negative, pseudo-hatred) from the situation and hopefully form a friendship. Friendship should be the basis for any relationship… NEVER forget that. If we’re no longer together and you don’t even have enough respect for me as your friend (not even your girlfriend) to tell me how you feel and why you feel things aren’t working out, then maybe we had no business trying to get involved in the first place.
We, as people, can forgive a lot of things (regardless of how we really feel)… as long as we believe the other person is being honest about the situation, but best believe we won’t ever forget how we are treated; it’s all about respecting each other and valuing a friendship that should be able to exist post-breakup.