Men: Why You’re “Just Friends”…

Posted Dec 12, 2011 by Freshhh in All Articles

I must admit, within five minutes of meeting a man, I will probably end up putting him in the friend zone. Sometimes I am having an off night, or under the influence, and it takes me a little longer to let you down…but the point is, you’ll probably end up hearing some excuse of me being emotionally unavailable or “already seeing someone”. I recently came across this article on and it goes through ten reasons why women hit men with the “just friends” shit. Below are the reasons and some insight on each:

10. She feels rejected: if she initially feels like you have put HER in the “friend zone” (even if only temporarily), she might begin to feel like, despite any initial attraction, you do not share the same feelings; once a friendship is formed, it’s hard to revert back to a romance.

9. She’s Already Moved on: The window between “friend I could potentially date” and a “friend who will only ever be a friend” is very small. Once she has moved past her initial interest in dating you, it will not be back.

8. You’re Not Being Decisive: “Women are into decisive men who know what they want, especially when those men want them. Women want to feel wanted and swept off their feet. The whole ‘friendship’ gimmick is not attractive to women. If that’s your approach to a woman you’re interested in, you’re showing that you’re indecisive, scared and don’t know what you’re looking for. Frankly, women don’t want you to realize one day what a great gem they are. They want you to see their potential right away and then pursue them.”

7. You’re Afraid of Dating: This can make you awkward and unsure of yourself; we women can sense it.

6. You Haven’t Made Her Feel Desirable: Self-explanatory. If you don’t make her feel desirable, someone else will.

5. You Haven’t Asked for a Date: You can’t get the job if you don’t apply for it.

4. She Hasn’t Seen Your Guns: showing a little skin will definitely turn her head and get you noticed… (skip this step if you’re out of shape- thanks)

3. She Hasn’t Seen Your Skills: Flaunt whatever it is you’re good at! Seeing you doing something you are confident of and successful in will turn any woman on. We wanna see our man shine—show us your stuff!

2. She’s Not Sexually Attracted To You: DING DING DING!! This, for me, is the primary reason why you ain’t gettin any play. I keep a lot of male friends around, and that’s because I love them to death and enjoy their company, but the thought of actually having to sleep with them makes me lose my lunch. Doesn’t make them bad people, just means they aren’t the right one for you. Looks aren’t everything, but they sure weigh in heavily when you’re deciding who you want to date.

1. She’s Not Sexually Attracted To You…. Yet: this is tricky. I have definitely been in situation where I wasn’t attracted to someone, and as we got closer, they got cuter. But this only works IF you are somewhat, yet not convincingly, cute to begin with (meaning good teeth, well groomed, and no BO, amongst other qualifying factors) AND have an award-winning personality. Many factors go into becoming attracted to someone; just because you give it time, doesn’t mean she will come around… you have to be prepared for that.

Men: most women would agree with these, and probably even have others to add. Heed this advice and continue to remain conscious of how you’re approaching the women you are interested in. Put your best foot forward and go for it… the worst thing she will do is let you down and, even then, you will only be in the same position you are now. What have you got to lose?

Remember: Once a woman puts you in the “zone”, the odds of you getting out are slim. Don’t annoy her with your attempts to get out of the friend zone because that will probably get you fired from there as well. It’s ok to just be friends with a chick you once wanted to date or smash…men and women can be friends IF you just give it up and accept the relationship terms she sets forth. Don’t sweat her either, no woman likes that, and it will definitely be the reason you have no shot at getting the panties…or at getting to know her at all. Don’t give her a reason to cut you off…

Source: Men, Why You’re Just Friends

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