Marriage?: Go For It….There’s Always A Way Out…
I love coming home for the holidays. It feels so good to get away from the everyday stresses…and getting to sleep in every morning ain’t so bad either. In typical fashion, my mom strategically waited until my step-father and his son left out before she rolled up. We always chop it up over some greens, and today we got to talking about marriage. Yet another high school friend of mine is engaged and I still can’t help but feel like tying the knot at 24 is just absurd. How can you be so secure in your life to make such a huge commitment like that; I feel like I still have the world to see and goals to achieve. Regretfully being in an estranged marriage herself, my mom admits that she’s not the marrying type (which is undoubtedly where I get it from), but that after her first marriage (to my father) she probably shouldn’t have tried it again. Despite those feelings, she said something to me today that really got me thinking…
If you ever meet someone, even if it’s tomorrow, that brings out those “I could marry and spend the rest of my life with this person” feelings…then go for it.
As shocked as I was to hear this endorsement of love, she admitted that even though her first marriage to my father was short-lived, it was the greatest thing that happened to her; even if only for the fact that she was blessed with me, her only child. She reminded me that even if it doesn’t work out, divorce is always an option… and even though that’s never someone’s ideal scenario, it’s still provides a little reassurance. I think my mother might have some regrets of people she didn’t marry; I know for a fact she had been proposed to a couple of times before my father (we have that gene that makes men fall in love easily).
I am super surprised to hear her giving me this type of advice. She probably feels like even though I am a hopeless romantic (to your surprise, I’m sure), I am just as cynical as the best of ‘em. Can you blame me? I have parents that have been divorced over 20 years (since I was 2 years old) and when my mother finally did re-marry a couple of years go, to my dismay, I see the relationship panning out to be anything but spectacular by year 3. How else would I feel?
But I think she’s right. You don’t get those butterflies for just anyone…so if you come across someone who really brings the best out in you, go for it. What do you have to lose? Besides a couple of sub-par fuck buddies, nothing. And as anti-love as you may be… you have to admit that it is a great feeling to have someone…you know, that person you can call at anytime, talk to about anything, and share new experiences with…who can also fuck you good on a regular basis. What more would you need? Especially during the holidays… when we all feel the most lonely.
Ok. I’m done being a fucking mush. Just some thoughts before I hit the sheets. Y’all know that I’m not in any bit of a rush to find that special person and get married tomorrow, but I hope (for my own sanity) that my mother is right. It would be nice to have someone in my life…even if only temporarily.