Ladies: When Will He Make You His Girlfriend?

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Posted Oct 23, 2012 by Freshhh in Relationships
Woman-waiting

Been “with” a man for awhile and still don’t have the title you desire? Join the club. There are plenty of women out there going through the same rigmarole. I will probably end up writing my own post related to this topic very very shortly, but in the meantime, you should all read the following post. Directly from one of my favorite bloggers, Black Girls Are Easy, this following post is RIGHT ON POINT. Even as a female I can agree with practically everything he says and I think for those women who feel they are in a situation not so much in their favor, maybe you can take a lesson or two away from this. Enjoy.

Why is it so difficult for a woman to get a man to commit? Are men really that picky, that indecisive, that complex that we can’t be locked down? Hell no. The problem is that some women have become so accommodating and submissive to the guys they’re in lust with that they give them the girlfriend experience for free. It’s ironic, females hold all  power and will turn down ten niggas in a row who aren’t their type, but when a guy is her type, she gives up her power and melts in his hand. It’s not difficult to get commitment if you show these men that you aren’t going to lay down, praise his dick, thirst for his love, and cry for his attention. In short, if you want a man to commit, you have to prove you’re not the same as other girls. It sounds simple, but most women can’t show guys they’re above average because they aren’t. There are women who toot their own horn about how better they are than the average chick. Come nightfall she’s sitting in her bed alone, desperate for a text to come through… just like the average chick. How dare you brag about “shitting on hoes” when you can’t even get the nigga you play house with to give up those hoes you claim to shit on? How can you be the “baddest bitch in here” if your phone is filled with goons and losers who duck your calls as soon as you ask for gas money?  If you’re such a five star lotus flower Harajuku boss bitch, then where is your man? Not the dude you fuck, but your actual man? Any woman can find a penis, few can find a man who actually cares. There are single women who made a choice to be single because they are focused on themselves, then there are the pretenders who say its a choice in order to explain why the legendary box she brags about can’t find anyone to claim it. Let’s keep it real, the majority of these women who boast about being special are as captivating as watching a dog shit. Niggas can tell by your instagram pictures the most exciting part of the day is when you eat food. ”Why hasn’t he made me his girlfriend yet?” You haven’t impressed him, duh! If you aren’t getting the results you feel you should, it’s time to stop lying to yourself and get to the root of the problem.

Tried to tell you before that most of these men who cry emotionally unavailable are gaming you. There is no way you are cursed with meeting the minority of guys on earth with actual trust issues. If dudes keep gassing you into being their practice girlfriend  then maybe its time to step in their shoes and see why niggas only half want you.Let’s take the victim card off the table. Men who you like don’t approach you so you’re stuck going out with lames. That’s your fault. Men who you find attractive don’t commit and you waste your time waiting. That’s your fault. You are the only one who controls your actions. Instead of bashing men in general, let’s figure out why those same men leave you hanging but give the next bitch the title in a matter of days. Let’s figure out why you’re the one who he hides, and she ends up the one he’s hugged up with in his profile pic. Let’s figure out why you’re the bottom bitch that he runs back to when she dumps him, not the one he really wanted to be with. I know what you’re thinking, “why do I have to wow these men, they should be impressing me“.  Bitch, bye. You’re on his dick, not talking to anyone else, and waiting patiently for this nigga to give your relationship the green light, clearly you’re impressed and his job is done. You’re more into him than he is you, and it’s time to cut that shit out! If you don’t want to take a hard look at yourself, then I advise you to stop reading and continue with your master plan of “I’m the greatest woman of all time, I’ll just wait until he realizes it“. If you’re willing to rip up the victim card and figure out where you’re going wrong, continue.

Wow Me

It only takes three weeks for a man to make you his girl. We know after the first week that we want to be with you, and if you don’t show hoe signs or stalker tendencies after the second week, we will usually lock you down. If a guy goes longer than that, he’s most likely scared and building up the nerve to ask. No way is he still deciding. If he’s totally afraid of what you represent he may even stop talking to you after a few weeks, because he knows you can pussy whip him and more dangerously, heart whip him. But never will a man be blown away by a woman and simply keep her hanging until he’s “positive”.  The excuse that men take their time is a total fabrication. We don’t take our time when something gets us excited, we go for it. Do you really think that a man who meets a bad chick isn’t going to handcuff her asap? Be serious, he’s not going to leave her out here in these streets for the next nigga to snatch up if he’s thoroughly impressed. That’s like a sneaker head saying he’ll come back the next day for some retros. Fuck that, you buy them now because your heart and soul demand it! There will be no “taking it slow”, we save that excuse for the mediocre girls. So are you mediocre or are you a bad chick? Let’s break down what a bad chick is. I’m not talking strictly about looks, looks are only part of the formula, and being pretty without substance is the epitome of being unimpressive. To be truly bad means that you are a total package, the likes of which he has never seen before in the average woman he hollas at. It’s your walk, your smile, your wardrobe, and most importantly how you interact with him. The average dude who’s been around the block isn’t impressed by a pretty face alone, he’s fucked J-Lo’s, and their pussy feels the same as J-No’s. So what’s going to make her a must have? My favorite word—Personality! If a guy gets your number because your body is banging and your weave is straight out the bundle, he has high hopes. The physical is on point, now let’s see what she’s hitting for. When you go out with this guy and all you do is giggle or sit looking at the menu searching for something say, you lose points. You spend all day talking to your homegirls, now you all you can muster is, “Oh, for real?” or an “I know, right?” You’re wasting his time, you’re not engaging, and what could have been something real will become about sex, because on your back is probably the only time you’re entertaining. One girl told me she acted shy because she feared coming off sounding dumb on dates… um, if you’re not dumb you won’t come off as dumb. That’s like me saying I fear coming off as racist around white people, I’m not a racist so why the fuck would I worry about shit like that? A hint for women who don’t have anything fascinating to talk about, it doesn’t matter. You know what you know and like what you like, talk about things you are comfortable discussing. Men aren’t turned off by ignorant women; we’re turned off by awkward women. As long as you can make him smile and flirt your ass off, he does not care if you think Rome is in France. There are guys who are married to women who are as ditsy as they come, but what those idiots have is charisma. You can be a shy nerd with a masters who could make a perfect wife and mother, but if you got the nigga checking his phone to see what more interesting women are tweeting about, he’s going to put you in the box.

The Box: She’s cool… I’m not really feeling her… but I’m already putting in work so I might as well keep talking to her so I can fuck. …I fucked her, it was straight… guess I’ll keep her around until shorty from work finally gives me a shot.

That’s our box, and a lot of you are in it right now. Once you’re in that box there will be no title unless that nigga runs out of options and makes you the settle girlfriend. If a guy doesn’t call as much, doesn’t talk as long, or can’t find time like he used to, he’s bored. This is a truth that needs to be addressed: Yes, your shit does stink and Yes, your personality may be dry. In your mind you had a good conversation, enjoy each other’s company, etc… But in his mind you could be wack as hell. Too many women assume, when they should be analyzing. Girls always tell me, “he changed out of the blue“, no he didn’t, if you were reading him instead of picking out your wedding colors you would have seen him distancing himself from you little by little. After sex or a few weeks of seeing how elementary your personality is, a man’s passion wears off. This is the point where the BAD chicks separate from the average chicks. The bad chick is still wowing him, whereas the average chick is now annoying him. If a guy who refused to commit to you pops up with an actual girlfriend not long after you stop talking, he was ready— for something better than you. This argument that men are ready when they’re ready and no woman can change that, is more bullshit meant to spare feelings. Sure, a man needs to be in the right frame of mind, but it doesn’t take until he’s 30 for him to want to settle down. The moment he’s wowed by a girl from Mars, he will make himself ready, because he’s sick of Earthling pussy. Don’t blame it on her having a phatter ass, prettier face, or more money, he could have gotten all of that for free. Unlike you, she impressed him so much that he didn’t want to string her along; he wanted to be actually be with her. She won and so can you.

What Makes You So Special?

When I wrote about the Game Changer, I got a few emails from women saying they are that game changer, but men are too stupid to realize it. If you’ve been “talking” to each other for months and he still calls you his friend—trust, you ain’t changing a damn thing. Again, it goes back to what makes you special, because a lot of shit I hear women claim as unique is ordinary. I do this, I do that… who cares what you do, I want to know who you are! Having a job, going to school, riding dick good—that shit is as common as being blonde in Norway. It’s commendable that you’re doing things to better your life and your vagina is moist enough to make him cum, but men expect that shit, it’s not game changing. The woman with the sharpest wit doesn’t have a problem getting a guy to call her first. The woman who can get it hard with a few words turns him on more than the one who has to put it in her mouth. Basic men get open off of Basic shit, that’s why most women have no problem attracting losers. When you’re aiming for a man who’s already winning and not thirsty for pussy, you have to step your game up! Don’t tell him you’re different from the rest, show him you’re different, because from where he’s sitting you remind him of the last bitch he ran through. Stop thinking about what turns him on, and focus on what engages him. All these girls know how to trap a dick, but not how to interest a man. Once his dick goes soft, will he still be into you? If you’re body is sick and you’re slutting it up around Chris Brown, yeah he would probably fuck. Does that make you the baddest chick in the world? No, you don’t get specialty points for being a hole he stuck his dick in. He’s not fucking you because you’re a great woman, he’s fucking what you represent, the sisterhood of the nameless, faceless, big booty hoes that we forget about a day later. A chick like Rihanna who may look average without the glam, is much more impressive because her personality and swagger is unique. She’s weird, she’s aggressive, she’s so fucking interesting that she tattoos the brain of every nigga she deals with and has them acting crazy. A girl like that no matter how flawed, is worth more than a room full of hoes in tight clothes that came to giggle and talk about nothing. Not everyone Thinks Different, as Steve Jobs would say. The sad fact is that while each human being is unique, most of us are the same. If you want a man to see you as a game changer, you have to constantly work on setting yourself apart. You can’t be like “we are not the same, I am a Martian” and step out dressed like the Forever 21 mannequin. You’re just like the last four girls he’s fucked. Men love when something different walks in the room, we respect when she takes the conversation to a weird but interesting place, and after a few weeks of being around a girl like that we don’t say, “Let’s see what happens,” we say, “we go together now“. Men who’ve seen it all and hit it all know girls like that don’t grow on trees.

Stop Being A Placeholder

You know why men feel no pressure to give you the title? Because Placeholders aren’t going anywhere unless we remove them. Grown ass, intelligent, beautiful women let niggas Pokemon them. You hang on his balls until he’s ready to choose you. It doesn’t matter when you’re ready—it’s when he’s ready. Men don’t have to give you the title in order to take ownership of your vagina, all he needs to do is feed hope. Quality single men are out here giving compliments and buying drinks for single women who don’t think they’re single. Baby girl is turning down numbers and going home alone to wait for a phone call from a man who doesn’t even belong to her. That’s amazingly stupid! She could easily find another man, but that hope keeps her in check. It’s a thin line between faith and foolishness and a lot of girls have let their hearts erase that line all together.  Is there hope for the Placeholders? Yes, but it’s slim. Start by growing a spine. Demand more from him and demand more from yourself. In his mind he sees you as okay, you have to change that perception and make him see you as phenomenal. I’ve told girls I loved them, how different they were, then made of all kinds of excuses as to why we weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend. It was all lies, because I never proved it with a commitment. As long as a man is content and not captivated by you, it’s a battle you will never win. It’s time to show him another side of you. Don’t go dressing like an Anime character and doing Nicki Minaj faces to prove you’re unique, just open up more. I refuse to believe that anyone is that boring, be as reckless in conversations as you are online. Stop texting like a 9th grader and increase his interest with good conversation. In the end, all men really want is a girl that is fun to talk to during the day and can make it nasty at night. There is a window to wow a man. You shouldn’t be 90 days in and letting a man tell you he’s not sure if he wants to be with you. Nobody test drives a car for a month or sleeps in a new house for a year to make sure it’s right. Stop being naïve! At this point he’s very sure– sure, you’re not the one. You may not leave with the title, but you can leave with some dignity! No woman should be living this placeholder life. You gave him your all, and he still doesn’t think you’re worthy. Take it as a loss and move on. As much as it may be a blow to your ego, you need to accept that not every man will be impressed by what you bring to the table. No matter how exciting you think you are there will be guys who find you bland. No matter how pretty you are, there will be guys who want another look. You can’t get a 100% approval rating, but you can attack every new opportunity at love like it’s your last. Stop being shy, work through your nerves, and prove that you’re not like the rest. You are too old to be awkward, open your mouth, not your legs, and become the girl he has to have.

 

Check out Black Girls Are Easy


About the Author

Freshhh

You wanna talk? I'll tell you all you need to know... as real as it can get.

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