I’m Only Dealing With You Because I Need Some Dick…

Posted Apr 21, 2011 by Freshhh in All Articles

If you are a female and you do not own a sex toy, you are doing yourself a HUGE dis-service. Not only is a daily “pipe cleaning” healthy for you, but you’ll most likely find it to be the best orgasm you’ll ever have… considering, after all, that it’s a $100 piece of plastic run on batteries.

Anyway, one of my close friends made her first toy purchase the other day, and let me tell you… not even a week later, and she has given it rave reviews already! I knew she would be super impressed with what it could do…given it boasts a “tingly clitoral teasers” and “powerful dual motors” O_o. Anyway, she will soon find that BOB (her Battery Operated Boyfriend) will give her an alternative to the men she deals with on a regular basis that just can’t perform up to her standards.

While we were discussing this topic, she said simply “I am just sick of dealing with all the bullshit that comes along with these men just because I want to get off”….We realized that we usually deal with mass amounts of bullshit from men and the only reason we try to remain tolerant of it is because we need them sexually. Why else would you deal with a man’s dramatics? For dick, that’s why! My friend’s purchase might force her into the realization that she doesn’t need to keep any of these bozos around if she can get her rocks off using other means. After all, BOB doesn’t complain, whine, argue with her, get jealous, etc.

At this point, I started to contemplate my own situation. Having been the proud owner of my own battery operated device for several years now, I realized it has helped me put a lot of things in perspective. First off, I now know what an orgasm is supposed to feel like…and boy, is it AMAZING!! Unfortunately, that has also forced me lower my performance ratings on more than half the men I thought gave me one over the years… but that’s a story for another day. It also made me appreciate those times when you can just get off and not deal with anyone or anything (I find that these are the best). The flip side is that it makes you realize every now and again that it IS nice to perform the act with another warm body…occasionally, we as females give up the guaranteed big “O” with BOB in order to have mediocre sex with a living, breathing human being just because we enjoy a little skin on skin contact.

But the question still remains the same: How much bullshit should we tolerate to keep the REAL dick readily available? At what point do we give up and just call BOB? I have begun to analyze these situations more regularly than I’d like. After my rendezvous with the greatest sex of my life (See Sex SO Good post below), I have been killing myself over the fact that I haven’t even come close to round 2 with this man. Even though we socially bump into each other on a regular basis, the teasing and flirting keeps clouding the fact that we still ain’t fuckin. I just wanna yell “WHEN THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO FUCK AGAIN?! THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!” …I know, I know, inappropriate. But I think about it and wonder how long will I let this drive me crazy before I just let it go and holla solely at BOB? After talking to my girl, it dawned on me….I’m really only dealing with his Jedi mind games and bullshit because of the incredible dick.

It should come as no surprise to you that I have absolutely no patience, especially for these mind games with men. If we fucked once and it was amazing, why the hell aren’t we fucking on a regular basis? Who the hell has time to just fuck once and then play the never-ending “Imma make you want it by teasing the shit out of you” game?! I sure don’t. Of course, this is the point where I get fed up and simply draw satisfaction from the fact that I do own a toy that can get the job done without me having to play the game.

At the end of the day, it’s nice to have someone enjoying the act as much as you do, but by no means does that provide any justification for you to have to deal with the extra mental mumbo jumbo. Take my advice, getchu a toy and call it a day. You won’t be sorry…my friend surely wasn’t. It may seem overwhelming at first, but just keep in mind: Double the pleasure, half the headache!!!

*** FYI: My girl’s new “friend” ; )

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