I’m All The Things You “Want”… Yet This Intimidates You?

Posted Feb 9, 2012 by Freshhh in Dating

Whenever I pour my relationship woes out to my male friends they always tell me I have problems meeting men and maintaining long-term relationships because I am intimidating. Ummmm, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

What exactly is it about me that you men find intimidating? Is it my physical attributes, my educational background, my outspoken personality, my comfort in my sexuality, the fact that I have a career and a side hustle and take care of myself? What? Please inform me because last time I checked, all these men are out here swearing up and down that that’s what they are looking for in a woman. Yet when a woman like me comes around, they don’t know how to act or even where to begin in terms of treating us the way we need and deserve to be treated.

When you tell me I’m intimidating, to me it means you’re scared, potentially weak. At this point in our lives, we are all grown, and frankly, you need to stop being intimidated, insecure, or scared of a future with a good woman and just man the fuck up! Since when have you not liked a challenge? Especially when the prize is better than any other you’ve fought for in the past. Nothing you have ever truly wanted has come without putting in a measureable amount of effort. Why stop now?

Why do all these things intimidate you? What’s the problem? Maybe you’re only intimidated by me because you yourself don’t have your shit together. Are you worried I will call you out on your inadequacies? Expose those flaws and embarrass you? Worried I will realize I am too good for you and leave? Worried I will take advantage of you and scheme behind your back? What is it? There’s got to be an answer. You can’t say you feel a certain way then not have the ability to form the sentences to explain it.

This whole conversation boils my blood. And I think it’s the fact that I “intimidate” these men (like that’s a bad thing) yet they have absolutely no problem publicly boocaking and wifing groupie, gold-digging, often-time stripper types who have nothing going for them, fuck every other hard dick they encounter, and couldn’t care less about these men. Oh ok. Why are so many of you men in denial?!

You all need to embrace strong, educated, independent, beautiful women. Stop making us feel like outcasts just because you are unsure of how to handle us; that’s ok, we can work on that together. Relationships with us should come easy for you; all of our “intimidating” characteristics symbolize that we are not only self-confident, but we are mature enough to handle a real, drama free relationship, and have a carefree time with you in the process.  Also, please stop being intimidated by all of the other men that show interest in us. That type of intimidation is called jealousy…and that’s a female trait. If I am with you…than I’m with you! It shouldn’t matter how many other men try to get at me… you should take this as a compliment and rest easy knowing I’m your girl and have no interest in anyone else. I don’t know any man that doesn’t want to walk down the street with his girl and watch her turn every other man’s head. So instead of assuming all these unwanted advances bring me one step closer to leaving you, why don’t you just do what it is you need to and should be doing to ensure that you keep me around. If I am going to leave you, it’s going to be because you weren’t on the ball, not because some random man tried to holler at me.

Think about it. Figure out what it is you want in a woman. Re-evaluate your current relationship (or “situation”). Make a choice to stay or go. Stick with it. And do better next time. It’s ok to feel a bit intimidated, but you need to embrace it… and besides, have you ever stopped to think about the fact that if a woman intimidates you, then maybe she just might be good for you!? Let her teach you something, grow with her. It will make you a better man in the end. I promise you that.

Don’t forget…..Behind every great man there is a great woman

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