Go With The Flow….
Well, I was driving to work today getting ready to NOT do any work and write a new blog entry about last night (see yesterday’s post), when my whole thought process shifted….First off……Maaaaaaaaan, the date didn’t happen (partially due to me being lazy and sick of n*ggas—more on that later), buuuuuuut I did have a good night nonetheless; I finally was able to just ball up on my couch and watch TV and be a vegetable…haven’t gotten to relax in a long time, felt good.
Anyway, I got a random text today from someone so special to me. If you read my blog, you would have seen that I posted this little love letter to my first love about 2-3 days ago. Writing my feelings like that really helped me to release some of the built up emotions I have been having lately. Anyway, him and I had lost touch for a little over a year, and this morning he texted me…out of no where! Apparently he moved to Texas and was back in town (up near my mom’s house, not here in DC) and the first person he saw in town was my mom. What a small world. He said he knew he had to reach out to me at that point, and I am so glad he did. It was like a breath of fresh air. Texting back and forth for the past couple of hours has been refreshing; he is, to this day, one of the only people I know I can trust and will always look out for me and my best interests. I hope we never lose touch again, I need that support in my life, especially now. What a great way to start my weekend.
I believe good things come in 3’s….that was definitely the second good thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours, I am hoping the third comes this weekend at some point! The first good thing (I guess I can call it that) happened yesterday. It wasn’t really a “thing” but more of a mental revelation. I was having a conversation with this guy I know (I don’t know how to describe him—-kind of an old crush turned friend kinda thing I guess) and we were talking about the guy I am currently semi-chasing. After him having to ask me 100 times who it was, I told him….and I was skeptical about doing that, but fuck it. We ended up kind of talking about the last “situation” he was in, and how this one female hurt him, broke his heart. Not only have I always looked at him as one of those tough-fuck bitches get money kinda guys, but I also know the female through some of my promoting work in DC. It is funny because I never knew about the two of them; I only know the little bit of back-story on her current flame through conversations with her and others privy to the knowledge. I think it’s so crazy how small the world is, and as I look back at a lot of things, they start to make sense. I never would have put them together, and it’s so funny to have talked to her about things in her life and some of those things directly affected this guy friend of mine. Anyway, hearing him actually admit to being hurt at one point definitely comforted me in a way (even though it is something so small); I finally realized (even though I always have and just never like to admit it) that I’m not the only one to go through these kinds of things…we all get our feelings hurt, hearts broken, even men. It is just nice to hear someone else admit it, and I’m glad he was able to admit it to me. I think that kind of made me feel a little closer to him, he is definitely someone whose company I enjoy and I hope our friendship can build further. I think that was a good sign, I definitely look at him a little differently (in a good way) now, and that makes me happy.
So, where am I left now? I think I am in a good place. Everything happens for a reason:
- Date fell through—-I think that was a sign that I might still be kind of waiting to see what happens with Boo #1; I realized I need to CALM THE FUCK DOWN and stop being so eager and antsy; just need to sit back and let things take their course. They will work out however they are meant to work out, I cannot keep thinking about it so much (I guess when we want something so bad, that’s what we do) and I cant be afraid to let my guard down and just let him know how I feel (if/when the time comes for me to do that). Tine will tell. Can’t sweat it, just gotta keep my cool.
- Heard from an old flame—- I hope talking with my first love will be good for me as well; I need that support behind me, it feels good to be in contact with him again, I miss his friendship and unconditional love.
- Got a little closer to someone—- That was a very good feeling. I already have the utmost admiration and respect for this man (he is such a hard-working person, a great father, and just a good example to a lot of these young guys out here), and that little bit of conversation definitely helped both of our guards come down as well as helped me feel a little bit better about the situation I am in; I’m not as alone as I think I am. I hope to get to know more about him in the future. I knew there was a reason I liked him so much at one point; such a good guy!
And so begins the weekend….I hope to make the best of today the worst of my tomorrow….