Posted Aug 15, 2011 by Freshhh in All Articles
I have been trying to come up with the best way to describe how I have been feeling lately about my main booty call and Jill Scott gave me the perfect word: DICKMATIZED.

What exactly is “dickmatized”?  Well, Jill describes it as:


“Where you get caught up in the whole sexuality of your relationship but it’s not going anywhere… Just somebody giving you the goods but not necessarily giving you the rest—or not expecting the rest from them. What I’ve discovered is, although it may be a lot of fun, it is also a waste of time and you might be blocking your blessing—blocking somebody who wants to be more to you than just a great time in your life.”


I read this and immediately thought “THAT’S ME”. I’m in a position where I continue to get my physical fix from my regular booty call, but I find that I am ready to get into a relationship…with someone else. That someone else has yet to be found, but at what point do I cut off my physical pleasure and focus my efforts on finding someone I can be both intimate with and interested in romantically.

I think I have come to that point. Is the sex still good? Ehh.. yea *shrug*. It definitely isn’t as good as it once was. I think after awhile niggas get too comfortable, and while he will always lay it down somthin serious, he is definitely less attentive and not even half as concerned about me getting mine as he used to be…and that’s a big no booboo. Sometimes there are signs, and I consider this one of them. While I am still holding on (simply because there ain’t no one else worth fuckin’), I have the motivation to wean myself off of him and increase my calls to B.O.B. until I come across a man I can see myself giving my all to. Now… of course I probably wouldn’t say this if I was trying to date homie OR if the sex was still hittin on a hunnit like it used to…but circumstances being what they are…I need to make the grown move and just let it go.

I can’t lie. Being dickmatized can be a wonderful thing. Me and wonder dick definitely lived it up…plenty of times. Opened me up (hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up) to gazillions of new positions and new places to get it on, and I will be eternally grateful for this knowledge…and I’m sure my future boo thang thang will too.

R.I.P. Mandingo <3

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