Apparently Marriage Ain’t Shit.

Posted Nov 2, 2011 by Freshhh in Dating
Got friended by my boy’s crazy, estranged, live-in girlfriend today. Puzzled, I peeped how her last name on facebook was his. Welp. Request accepted. Whaddaya know? They got married! I’m literally stunned.

Just a month or so ago, my boy was sleeping around, on the verge of leaving in the middle of the night, and so over shawty and her bullshit. I couldn’t blame him, this bitch CRAY. Always up his ass, wondering where he is, who he’s with, etc. She even had a brief period when she thought I (his best female friend) was tryna steal him from her. Hoe, please. But to see my boy SO stressed and at his wits end was kind of scary; I felt so bad for him, no relationship should be that much commotion and dramatic bullshit.

But HOW do they end up married less than a month after all the shit hit the fan?! I was legit stunned… and texted him to explain himself immediately. His response made me officially lose hope for true love and dedicated marriage forever. He told me “this is what she wants, and she’s been fucking chillin since..hopefully it stays like that”. Ummmm, so basically he married her in attempt to avoid her bullshit, not to mention his lack of job and cash flow make this the easiest bail out for him. Obviously she looks like a fool for putting up with it, but at the same time, I ain’t mad at him because something so simple and insignificant (to him) makes a huge difference in her actions. Seems like a cop out to me.

Is this what marriage has come to? Just getting married to solve the issues? Look. The problems might be mitigated by this, but they are always going to persist. For my boy, he gets to continue doing what he wants to do, and shawty will take a step back because she got the ring and thinks that means something. It sadly doesn’t mean shit in this case, and it’s so sad that she feels this will change him and complete her. It will probably get better for a couple of months and then just be a huge whirlwind en route to divorce before their six month anniversary. What a fucking HASSLE!

Like I said, props to him. I can’t knock the hustle. He is milking a great situation, and I can’t blame him. I just hate to see that this is what we resort to… like, how come he can’t just get a job, move out, and get his life back. Why settle for half your life because that’s what’s easily attainable? Who said it was supposed to be easy? And as a female, I couldn’t imagine how shawty feels (impromptu courthouse marriage on a random Wednesday after work? I’m sure that’s not how she envisioned it)… of course she’s either blind to it or accepting it and just trying to hide the fact that she’s getting dogged, but THAT SUCKS!!! I would rather be alone than married for all of the wrong reasons. Buuuut, I ain’t her mama or her keeper; she old enough to make decisions on her own, still doesn’t convince me that she’s happy though, purely in denial.

More people need to just grow up, make mature decisions, and move on. Men: it is never ok to use a female to make your life easier, particularly by using her desire for marriage against her. Women: it’s never ok to put up with a lazy ass nigga who can’t pull his own, no matter what; he won’t change, so stop thinking that. We are all so blindsided by pseudo-love, laziness, and the easy way out that it forces us into denial. There’s no way to be truly happy while you’re in denial…. And once the realization of your huge mistake sets in, you’re not only fucked, but trying to reverse the damage done will be ten times harder than if you would have just made the proper adult decision in the first place. Y’all NEED to do better, this shit can’t be life.

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