Almost Forgot What This Feels Like…
So anyway, I think it’s funny that I haven’t had this feeling with someone in years…YEARS!! How is it that I have “dated” and been physical with plenty of men in that time frame, yet haven’t had sparks or butterflies?! What is that really saying about me? To be honest, I’m not sure. I feel as though this go-round is different because HE’S different. Not the typical guy that I end up with who needs to be babied or feels he is entitled to shit just because, yet makes NO attempt at treating a female in any way that would make her want to return the favor. And Im supposed to swoon? No way. Now that I think about it, he is actually someone who is interested in me and can actually hold my interest in return. By him doing little things (like picking up the phone to CALL me instead of just texting or bbming me) he has made me actually want to spend more time with him. Nowadays there is TOO much communication done via text, tweets, facebook messages, etc. and many people forget the benefit and ease of a simple phone conversation. Hearing a person’s tone, jokes, reactions give them so much more life than an “LOL” put at the end of a sentence. It can make you feel close to someone who may even be hundreds of miles away and that, for me, is comforting.
None of my past relationships (or whatever they are called) have been like this. Why? Maybe it’s because I haven’t made the proper efforts or maybe because the guys haven’t. Why do we feel so content and lazy?! I am definitely always more receptive to this kind of interaction yet always wait for the guy to make the first call. Why haven’t I ever initiated this? I’m not sure. Maybe because I haven’t found anyone in a long time that I feel warrants me caring enough to pick up the phone. No one has really peaked my interest enough, it’s kind of sad that I keep everything so surface level because I myself don’t really CARE to get to know them. Or, on the other hand, maybe I feel like I might like them more than they like me and when I do call them they are going to look at their phone and think “why is SHE calling me?!” (I know I do that with some guys when they call).
I’m in a good neutral zone with this one now. We have constant interaction during the day (yet, we don’t sweat each other), the conversation is stimulating, learning about him interests me, he is HILARIOUS but also serious as well. It feels almost too good to be true. Of course, I am still going to remain cautious and take it a day at a time. I don’t think either of us is trying to be boo’ed up just yet, and that’s ok. But this process (the holding period between initial meeting and whatever develops, if you will) is carefree and a breath of fresh air for me.
I hate to say it, but I wish more of my interactions with men were like this; I’m so old school. Hopefully in the future I can make better attempts at this (by making it known that HEY YOU CAN CALL, ya know!), and maybe even try and salvage one or two former failed attempts to see if my efforts change anything and provide a new perspective on things to bring us closer. I do know one thing for sure…the sex was amazing and so much better than recent flings. I guess really liking/being interested in the person you’re sleeping with helps (although, not always necessary…obvi.). I forgot what it was like to have a little feeling and spark in the mix. And boy, does it feel nice.