A New Year, A New Chapter…
First off, I have big plans for continuing my education and advancing myself beyond where I am now. I have vowed to myself that this is the year I bust my ass studying and applying to graduate school, in turn getting into the one and only program I wish to partake in, and advancing my knowledge to a whole new level. Personal advancement is so important to me, and I know that the timing is finally right; I’m ready.
Secondly, I must say that I am excited to begin a new chapter in my love life. For those of you who have followed my sexcapades over the past umpteen blog posts, I have had my fair share of great sex, bad sex, dramatic boos, etc. (and if y’all only knew the HALF of the shit I have gone through but not written about), and for once I think it might be time to turn the playa card in and see about a more permanent boo arrangement. Of course, as player-ish as I am (and have always LOVED being), I have made it a point to always be open to love if the right person came along.
Most recently, I haven’t even really had any boos in the mix…not for any particular reason other than me not wanting to deal with any bullshit…especially for the mediocre dick I was getting. I had been getting my fix with my regular mandingo, but lately I haven’t even been feeling him as much as I used to. I have been trying so hard to come up with a reason why I should no longer accept such wonderful sex from someone I have the utmost love for. After a lot of life analytics, I have realized that by fucking with each other, we are in some way blocking both of our blessings…
Let me say this about him: I don’t think I have had another sexual relationship like the one I have/had with him (not since my first and only love YEARS ago). The fact that the sex can be amazing and we can get along so well and continue to respect each other and be homies is amazing. No drama, no jealousy, none of that shit. However, I began to see that if we are as physical as we are, we cannot be emotional or AS physical with anyone else. How am I supposed to progress into a committed, honest relationship with someone else if I’m still sleeping with this man? I cannot fully offer myself to anyone else and neither can he. Now, while I haven’t had any real prospects until now, I KNOW he is at a point in his life where marriage and kids need to happen now, if they are going to happen at all. I can see his successes and blessings and I know deep down (although he might not show it) he wishes he had a strong woman and a family to share them with…no matter how much he loves playing the bachelor role. As a woman who wants that for myself one day, I felt some sort of guilt for still being a part of his shenanigans; and even though there are probably plenty of other women he “gives himself” to, I don’t wanna be a part of the reason why no wifey material ever takes him seriously and/or why he doesn’t feel fulfilled. My love and respect for him want him to be eternally happy and I had to remove myself. No love ever lost though…that’s my ace.
As for me, I was never really concerned with him because I personally never had any boyfriend potentials and there’s no reason for me to cut off good dick for nothing, right? RIGHT! Well things have begun to shift. I have recently met someone that I couldn’t be more infatuated with. His smile, affection, humor, and everything else about him make me feel incredibly blessed to have him in my life. And while I think it’s too early to propose to him myself (no seriously… he’s perfect), I am excited to take things slowly a day at a time and continue to reveal new layers of him over the next couple of months. My interest is still on a HUNNIT and its been over a month… and for those of you who know me… a couple days is usually more than enough time for me to count you out. It’s must be pure luck that I have found someone that fits so much of my criteria so perfectly: from NY, graduated from a great school, has goals and aspirations of his own that he is determined to achieve (and obviously will), handsome with a bangin body and smile to match, a great kisser, not about the club life, no drama, and best of all… he makes me feel good.
It has been so long since I felt so into a man…so into him enough to want to boo the fuck up. I’m excited to see where this goes and I remain cautiously waiting for the ball to drop and for him to have some huge ass flaw that I cannot live with… but so far, so good! Wish me luck, you foolies! I guess the saying “you can’t watch water boil” is right… the second I stopped looking… there he was.
Anyway…I hope that ending my 23rd year on this earth in such a wonderful way will be an excellent indication of how my 24th will start. I am taking off for Vegas this Thursday for five days with my best friend (who will be simultaneously celebrating her 25th birthday) and I KNOW we are going to have a blast out there celebrating our lives! I am physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in a perfect place right now… and I look forward to all that may be in store!
Happy Birthday to MEEEE (and my Bestie Morgan)!!!