40 Days, 40 Habits You Should Break; Day #29: Holding Grudges
Bad Habit #29: Holding Grudges
No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. The problem for most of us comes not in the mistake that was made, but instead in our choice of how we handle the situation at hand; we can choose to hold a grudge or forgive the person for what they’ve done. Holding a grudge seems to be the easiest way out because it gives us the opportunity to hold someone else at fault for something, which leads us to feel better about ourselves. However, the more we dwell on hurtful events, our grudges increasingly fill with resentment, vengeance, and hostility, which make getting passed them all the more challenging. Studies have shown that holding on to grudges and long-term resentment can lead to psychological disorders, while bitterness, and the feelings of anger and depression that accompany it, may be linked to health issues like cardiovascular problems and a weak immune system. Who has time for all that?!
Instead of holding grudges, it would be in your best interest to do your best to move on. Forgiveness is something that comes in a variety of ways and may not be the same for everyone. However, while you take steps towards forgiveness, you have to remind yourself that you cannot change the past, but you can most certainly begin molding your future. Acknowledging the problem, accepting what it is, and not dwelling on it are all crucial steps in the process. Looking for a positive spin and letting it go will help you on the road to forgiveness.
I am not saying that you should let people get away with whatever they want without holding them accountable, but what I am saying is that there is usually only so much you can do about it. Sometimes we have to take it with a grain of salt, make a mental note in the person’s file for later, and keep it moving. Be the bigger person! Constantly dwelling and re-thinking about the same situation over and over again only sucks up time and mental capacity that could be used for more important, positive things.
Don’t be bitter, be BETTER.
Oprah: 8 Ways to Forgive & Forget
In case you missed it… Bad Habit #28: Spying on Your Partner