40 Days, 40 Habits You Should Break; Day #18: Criticizing Not Complimenting
Bad Habit #18: Criticizing Not Complimenting
We are such a negative, self-interested, society. It’s really sad that when we come across people we are quick to criticize their shortcomings before we even think about complimenting their strengths. We often mask our criticisms as “constructive”, but the reality is we don’t constructively criticize people to their faces, instead we essentially just put them or their ideas down and talk shit behind their backs. Why do we do this? What a bad habit, yet so prevalent, particularly for our generation. A lot of this stems from our own insecurities and jealousy. Jealousy is often the fuel of criticism. When we see someone with the things we want (happiness, the perfect relationship, ideal job, etc.), we try to justify why they have it and we don’t… bring on the criticism. Secondly, when we see behaviors in others that we don’t like about ourselves, we criticize them for it, often times subconsciously. It’s the trend for us to tear other people down by looking for faults and exploiting them in order to make us feel better about who we are… but funny how we somehow never acknowledge our own faults. Look… we all have good and bad things about us, and it’s a good habit for us to start getting into the business of complimenting people’s strengths…wholeheartedly. If your criticism isn’t going to be constructive, keep it to yourself. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” –Theodore Roosevelt.
In case you missed it… Bad Habit #17: Not Asking For Help